Marvel’s latest series, Agatha All Along, an offshoot of WandaVision (itself an offshoot of The Avengers), distills the worst cliches of modern entertainment into an unwatchable slog, dragging what could have been an hour’s worth of plot across nine excruciating episodes.
The story follows Agatha Harkness (Kathryn Hahn), a witch stripped of her powers in WandaVision, now on a quest to reclaim her sorcery. Along for the ride is her initially unassuming and unnamed companion, played by Joe Locke. Locke’s character feels like the product of generative artificial intelligence trained on trending TikToks: an overly affected, effeminate, and gay Generation Z archetype who could moonlight as an influencer for Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign.
The two grating leads are utterly devoid of chemistry, sustaining their dynamic with Disney’s hallmark awkward humor. “The querent?” Locke asks in one scene. “I guess I’m the queer-ent.” If excessive eye-rolling posed any health risks, Agatha All Along would be a windfall for ophthalmologists.
The series opens with Agatha trapped under a spell, adopting a cartoonish tough-cop persona ripped straight from a lackluster CW show. Yet, by the second episode, this setup is abruptly discarded as she is awakened and the show pivots from a parody detective series to a meandering witch-themed mystery. The result? A wasted hour on inconsequential nonsense, leaving you questioning why the show bothered with such a pointless detour in the first place.
Eventually stumbling onto the actual plot, Agatha assembles a group of witches in pursuit of the fabled Witches’ Road. This mythical path is lined with trials, each promising a step closer to Agatha’s ultimate goal: the return of her powers. From brewing an antidote after being poisoned by a bottle of Rioja to enduring a cringeworthy musical number in episode four, where the witches discover a song one of them once wrote is conveniently a protection spell, these trials feel like a chaotic mashup of Saw and Jumanji but without the tension or charm.
Agatha and her ragtag group of witches continue to plod through repetitive and inconsequential challenges. They turn on one another without reason, reconcile just as quickly, and trudge forward on a circular journey that goes nowhere. The Salem Seven are introduced as an ominous force, yet they barely leave an impression. Meanwhile, the characters’ motivations are flimsy and shifting, making it hard to root for anyone.
By the finale, viewership had plummeted by more than half. It’s easy to see why: The series doesn’t deliver substance, meaningful development, or the humor it desperately attempts.
With the notable exception of one played by Debra Jo Rupp (That 70’s Show’s venerable Kitty Forman), the witches of Agatha’s coven are little more than a roster of diversity checkboxes, assembled with minimal concern for actual acting chops. Then there’s Aubrey Plaza, whose comedic strengths lie in her wry, awkward delivery, utterly wasted in the role of the Green Witch. Supposedly a centuries-old embodiment of death, Plaza instead delivers her lines with the nasally indifference of a Californian valley girl, a choice so jarring it borders on parody.
Actress Ali Ahn, cast as one of the witches, proudly described Agatha as “the gayest show on Marvel,” as if this alone were its greatest selling point. This emphasis, much like with Star Wars’s recent flop The Acolyte (already unceremoniously canceled), fails to translate into quality. Instead, it highlights the series’s misplaced priorities, where pandering takes precedence over compelling storytelling or character development.
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Disney’s 2009 acquisition of Marvel was a strategic move to capture the male nerd demographic, spanning from teenagers to adults. For years, the Marvel Cinematic Universe thrived on that foundation, delivering blockbuster after blockbuster, with its success culminating most recently in the highly anticipated Deadpool & Wolverine. Yet, in its attempt to expand its audience, Disney has pivoted toward a misguided “something for everyone” approach. The result has been a dilution of what once made the franchise a box-office juggernaut.
With offerings such as Agatha All Along, Ms. Marvel, The Marvels, and She-Hulk, Disney’s insistence on prioritizing “woke” diversity over compelling storytelling and audience alignment has alienated its core fanbase. Rather than expanding the MCU’s appeal, this shift has watered down a franchise that once set the gold standard for superhero entertainment.
Harry Khachatrian (@Harry1T6) is a film critic for the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a computer engineer in Toronto pursuing his MBA.
This article was originally published at www.washingtonexaminer.com
