This article is satire.
“Emilia Pérez,” the movie musical about a tranny Mexican narco trafficker starring a genuine ladyboy (Karla Sofia Gascón), is a frontrunner in the Best Picture category at this year’s Oscar Ceremony, racking up a total of 13 nominations. There are whispers that the movie has a plot, though the Daily Caller’s fact-checkers have cited difficulties “sitting through the film without retching.” Others have described the film as “weird” or “nonsensical” or “made me reconsider my stance on Latinas.” Personally, I would vouch for all three characterizations– which is why we owe the producers, and the Oscars, a hearty “thank you.” I urge President Donald Trump to take advantage of this moment of pique to deliver a firm message to Mexico: the gay movies will not stop until the illegals do. (RELATED: WOLD: Liberal Lawyers Are Wrong — Trump Can, And Should, End Birthright Citizenship)
Let’s face facts: President Trump has a logistical challenge ahead. Over the past four years, millions of illegal migrants have poured into the United States from (and through) Mexico, thanks to the border-optional policy adopted by Joseph Robinette Biden and the unsung team of body-positive interns propping him up from behind the podium. Sure, it’ll be easy enough to identify and deport the scores of illegal aliens the Biden administration let off the terror watchlist – but how are we going to track down the regular illegals? You know the type: hard-working folk who just want a better life for their families, salt-of-the-earth guys and gals who kill Americans in hit-and-runs.
A previously deported Mexican national reportedly killed two women during a hit-and-run in Illinois. Texas police apprehended him while he was attempting to flee the country.
Two innocent Americans are dead because Biden allowed criminals to invade this country. pic.twitter.com/QAX717beFZ
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) January 23, 2025
There is a simple solution: incentivize self-deportation. A movie like this is a great start. It says to Mexico, and Mexicans, “This is what we think of you. And what we think is that you are gay.” Mexico is still a Catholic country, after all. What could be more perfectly suited to annoy them than a musical that redeems a violent drug trafficker by subjecting him to a series of freaky and wholly unconvincing sex surgeries? Spanish-language post on X suggests Mexicans are, indeed, unhappy:
8 minutos de Emilia Pérez y ya quiero morirme del asco. Esto debe de ser un récord.
— Ozio (@TheOzio) January 19, 2025
Translation: “8 minutes of Emilia Pérez and I already want to die of disgust.”
Letterboxd reviews were hardly better. One user called it, “without a doubt, the worst film I have seen in my life,” noting he watched it while ill. One can only speculate as to the potentially disastrous consequences of watching such a film on his health.
TRANSLATION: “Without a doubt, the worst film I have seen in my life. I only finished watching it in its entirety because I wanted to have a real critique of it but it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s good that I saw it on a Saturday when I was bedbound because I was sick and couldn’t do anything else.”
Another, more pragmatic user, declined to give their thoughts on the film itself, simply suggesting a remedy in the form of the nuclear bombardment of France (likely in reference to director Jacques Audiard’s nationality).
Translation: “NUCLEAR BOMBING OF FRANCE.”
Undoubtedly, they were too upset to remember the worst part of the movie, Selena Gomez’s puffy lupus-lips straining to pronounce the words “quiero” and “tacos.” But I digress.
Just as the U.S. Military invests in video games, the Trump administration should put taxpayer dollars towards producing Hollywood films and TV that Mexicans (and other contingents of illegal foreigners) would find disagreeable. For instance, why not depict Muhammed as an out-and-proud lesbian? How about a love story between a nice Chinese girl and a black guy? Or– not to unduly stress the audience’s suspension of disbelief– a story about a Haitian who breaks with tradition and boldly refuses to chow down on beloved neighborhood pets?
More ground might be broken still. Kamala Harris infamously supported sex change operations for “transgender individuals” in Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detention. I implore President Trump to follow suit. Only, why stop at “transgender individuals”? Consider, instead, a lottery system wherein lucky illegals of any professed gender identity are mandated to go under the knife. What migrant would risk having their genitalia mangled by a pronoun-happy border patrol?
“Emilia Pérez” is the perfect cultural accent to Trump’s political victory. There is no escape for the illegal migrant: he is pursued by ICE from the west, and leered at by weird sex stuff on the east. Probably the only solution is for him to head south. Or back to Fujairah, or whatever.
This article was originally published at dailycaller.com
