There are many great beers to be had in one’s life.
And, no, I’m not talking about various brands of beer, the Miller Lites, or, God forbid, Bud Lights, the various hoppy concoctions of IPAs, the pilsners, or the Mexican lagers. I’m talking about contexts in which you drink a beer.
To wit, some of the best beers in life include, but are not limited to, the golf course beer. You crack open an ice-cold domestic, a little “swing juice,” as local scratch golfers call it, to dial in a big drive on the long par 5. The beach beer. It’s 90 degrees outside, the sun is roasting you like a 7/11 hot dog under infrared light, and you take a sip of your Modelo with lime before jumping into the ocean. You spend an hour mowing the lawn, and after parking the John Deere in the garage, you settle into a camping chair and treat yourself to some suds. (RELATED: Bud Light’s Latest Marketing Scheme Proves They Think You’re Stupid)
Well, we might finally have the official greatest beer to enjoy, and somehow, I missed it earlier in the week.
It’s the acquittal beer. Yes, the first beer you sip after you are acquitted of a crime and escape a prison sentence.
Following his not-guilty verdict, Daniel Penny and his lawyers, Thomas Kenniff and Steven Raiser, celebrated in a New York City bar. Penny was spotted holding a draft beer, and it was probably the best-tasting adult beverage he had ever had.
I hope I am never in Penny’s position. I hope I never have to live through an unfair (or otherwise fair) criminal trial. But I already know, despite never having been acquitted of a crime, the post-acquittal beer is easily the best beer of them all.
Nothing could ever beat taking a sip of a draft beer after your trial and knowing you have escaped a terrible fate in prison.
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This article was originally published at dailycaller.com
